I know that it's stressful for Tech to see her parents and unfortunately with everything going on at the moment she's been seeing them more than usual. I really do believe that deep down Tech's parents are trying to help, for some reason it just comes out as control-freak criticism.
They actually remind me a lot of my late Great Aunt. When she was alive she was a nagger and complainer. Since she had no children of her own she provided a lot of financial support to my cousins since their mother was... well... not great. This was an incredibly generous gesture on the part of my Great Aunt, unfortunately she took the position that she should be able to run their lives since she was paying their way. No one appreciated it and of course what it resulted in was everyone forgetting how kind she could be and only remembering how much we hated spending time with her.
When she died she left her estate mainly to me, my brother, and a number of my cousins. This came as a complete shock to all of us who had never even considered the possibility that she would give us anything. I appreciate the gesture immensly. It has given me a "nest egg" to use as a down payment on a home eventually, or a big jump start on my retirement savings, or both! But what I think of most when I deal with the inheritance is that I wish she had been as nice in her life as she was in her death. It's a shame that we never got to enjoy her while she was alive or vice versa. I think Tech's parents are a lot like that. They are generous in the wrong ways and they have trouble expressing how much they care, but I know that they do.
Wow... I'm the queen of tangents. Ok so the original point was this... When Tech's parents come to town I think they make Tech doubt herself as a mother and that is terrible because it is so completely not true. She isn't the kind of mother who is always perfectly made up with a spotless house and huge dinners she's slaved over for hours. She has blue hair, tattoos, and more tattoos. But those aren't the things that make a mother. I spent part of mothers day with Tech, Skeeter, and PJ in the hospital... I was only there for an hour or two but the boys were overwhelming. Picture two boys under the age of 10 (really, picture two boys under the age of 33 or so) cooped up in a hospital room for an entire weekend and you can imagine why.
Skeeter didn't want to sit still for more than two minutes but he wasn't comfortable anywhere he went. PJ was just full of energy with nowhere to put it. And Tech? Yes, I could tell she was tired but she was also amazing. She moved Skeeter around the whole room trying to find somewhere he'd be happy, she helped PJ work his "gameboy," and through almost all of it she smiled at them and laughed and displayed an energy that I can't imagine she felt. She's the kind of mother who gets down on the floor to play with her kids, who doesn't mind getting dirty and I know they love that.
So I guess the point here is that there are all kinds of mothers, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. You can't judge your weaknesses based on other people's strengths because you have your own strengths. I know that's hard to remember sometimes but it's never any less true.
Happy belated mothers day everyone :)
P.S. If you missed my previous entry on what I'm doing today check out Interview for nothing.
